Other Jokes

Why did the school bell think it was engaged?

            Someone gave it a ring!


What did you learn your first day in school?

            Not much.  I have to go again tomorrow.


When does school usually begin?

            Too soon.


Why are school buses yellow?

            Because they ran out of purple.


How did the bumble bee get to school?

            It took the school buzz.


Whatís the difference between a school bus driver and a cold?

            One knows the stops and the other stops the nose.


How do we know school buses are afraid?

            Theyíre yellow.


Where do small intestines go to school?



Where did the fireplace go to school?



Whatís the best place to grow flowers in school?

            In the kinder-garden


What do construction workers play with in kindergarten?

            Building blocks.


How do you mail the alphabet?

            In a letter box.


What would you get if you crossed the alphabet with a top?

            Dizzy spells.


Why did the policeman study the alphabet?

            To follow the letter of the law.


What letters come after ďAĒ?

            All the others.


What comes after ďGĒ?



Then what comes after ďOĒ?



Why did the blackboard get mad at school?

            It got rubbed the wrong way.


What happened when the investor put all his money into erasers?

            He was wiped out.


How do blackboards start over?

            With a clean slate.


What did one blackboard say to the other?

            E-rase you to the corner.


Who invented the first pen?

            The Incas.


Whatís the difference between a pen and a pencil?

            You push a pen, but a pencil must be lead.


Why is the pen mightier than the sword?

            No one ever invented a ballpoint sword.


Whatís the difference between a bird-watcher and a bad speller?

            One watches birds and the other botches words.


What kind of bee drops its honey?

            A spilling bee.


Why was the witch first in her class?

            She was a good speller.


Whatís a synonym?

            A word you use when you canít spell the other word.


Why didnít the bowling pins go to school?

            They were on strike.


Whatís the best part of the school year?

            Summer vacation.


Why didnít the skeleton like to go to school?

            His heart wasnít in it.


What exercise makes you miss school?



Have you missed school lately?

            Not a bit.


Do you like going to school?

            Yes, I like to come home too.  Itís the staying there in between that I donít like.


When is attendance at school like a gift?

            When you are present.


Well, how do you like school?



How far did you go in school?

            About three miles.


Why did the beautician go to school?

            The teacher was giving a make-up exam.


Why did the skeleton go to school?

            To bone up on a few things.


What golf equipment was out when attendance was taken?



Why did the captain miss school?

            Because he was a skipper.


Why did the kids get wet going to school?

            They were in a carpool.


Why did the entertainer go to school?

            He had a class act.


Why did the chicken go to school?

            For eggstra credit.


Why did the teacher take away the studentís scissors?

            She didnít want him to cut class.


Why did Cyclops give up teaching?

            He only had one pupil.


Why did the teacher bring honey to school?

            She wanted bee students.


Whatís a teacher?

            One who uses marking pens for penning marks.


What do you call it when your father has to take a test?

            A pop quiz.



How did the card do on the finals?

            It aced them.





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